Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who is just plain negative? How about someone who is confrontational and makes you feel bad? What about that highly emotional heated conversation you had with someone and you grappled with ‘what you should of said’ for days afterwards?
What if I told you 80% IS NOT ABOUT YOU?
Many of us struggle with the aftermath of a very unpleasant encounter because we feel we didn’t handle it the way we should have.
I want to share a rule that forever changed how I dealt with negativity and “mean” people. Also known as manipulators or bullies.
Let’s apply the 80/20 rule.
80% of what they are saying or trying to blame you for or unloading on you is all about them.
20% has to do with the fact that you were in the wrong place at the right time for them. Or, you may have said something to trigger an emotion that caused the unhinging of their baggage.
As a matter of fact, the “mean” people are not really mean. They are just dealing with their own issues and are carrying it around. All day long. Once their bags get too heavy and they get tired enough, they just drop them right in front of you. Now you’re left trying to step over it or crawl away. Problem is, the bags have landed on your feet and you’re stuck there.
Being stuck there with them is a choice. You are resilient.
Remembering it’s not about you and staying grounded there will help you deflect the negativity and gracefully step around the baggage. They can pick it up themselves.
